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Sunday, 24 April 2016

'Revolution' poems and Poetry Day

"Poetry Day Ireland will take place on Thursday 28 April in 2016. The theme for 2016 is Revolution, whether that be artistic, political, social, or personal. Poetry has always closely reflected social change and transformation. In 2016, we aim to bring that aspect of the written (and spoken) word to the forefront in every school, venue, café, and street corner in Ireland. The theme is more of a springboard than a rigid structure. We [Poetry Ireland] encourage organisers and collaborators to rebel against it, to revolutionize it and make it their own." For more see the Poetry Ireland website.


An actual revolutionary
Another actual revolutionary


Saturday, 23 April 2016

Up The Rebels! poem in which I suggest a possible innovative use for toothpicks

Are you a literary networker with no discernible principles, or ideas of your own? I have a poem in this (below) in which I suggest a possible innovative use for toothpicks. 

 

Sunday, 17 April 2016

Saturday, 16 April 2016

Michael O'Leary of Ryanair to be new Minister for Health

CEO of Ryanair, Michael O'Leary, is to be Minister for Health in the new partnership government. 

He has today announced a detailed policy which will, when fully implemented, transform Ireland's Health Service. You can read the details here.

In a statement, Mr O'Leary said that the Irish people needed to "get sensible and stop voting for lunatics." 
With the help of an overhead projector, Mr O'Leary went on to say that "in the real world, and also in the one I live in, every fucker knows that good government happens when this sort of thing
 
and this sort of thing
 come together to give you this sort of thing"

Wednesday, 13 April 2016

Therapy Group For People Traumatised By My Poems

Tao Lin
My latest poem 'Note to self re: Evils of Hipster Careerism in The Literary Arts' - after Mel Brooks - was yesterday published on The Bogman's Cannon.


One young Irish writer has taken exception to this poem, though I think she has rather gotten hold of the wrong end of this particular stick.
Either way, I will now be starting a therapy group for people who have been traumatised by my poems. I will be joining myself, as will Spectator columnist Nick Cohen, and the former owners of this web address.

At all group meetings, the wearing of bowler hats will be mandatory.
 

Tuesday, 12 April 2016

In which I'm carried through gates of Leinster House by six naked (male) TDs

Maureen O'Sullivan TD, Sean Canney TD, & Shane Ross TD have this morning sent a document to both Enda Kenny & Micheál Martin proposing that one of my poems be the basis of a 'Programme for Partnership Government 2016-2019'. 
'Pop-Up Policies' is available on Clare Daly TD's website. As a poet, or, as the eminent U.K. historian Francis Wheen prefers to call me, a 'poet', this is a proud moment indeed.

Shane Ross phoned me this morning to ask if I would come along and read 'Pop-Up Polices' to the negotiating TD's. 
 I told him that I will, on one strict condition. 
I must be carried into the meeting, through the gates of Leinster House, by a group of six naked (male) TDs. Two from Fianna Fáil, two from Fine Gael, one from the Independent Alliance, and, if at all possible, Leader of the Green Party Eamon Ryan.

Deputy Ross told me that, the way the negotiations are going at the moment, that should not be a problem. 

Monday, 11 April 2016

Such a big invitation I plan to wear pants

Instead of the usual prayer, the next sitting of the Dáil will open with me reading this poem - 'Vote of No Confidence'. I thank the Oireachtas Committee on #DailReform for this invitation and plan to go so far as to actually wear pants for the occasion. 
 
yer man from Atheist Ireland
Michael Nugent of Atheist Ireland has described the committee's decision to invite me along as "A brave move by our leaders and a clear sign of our maturity as a nation."
The pants I'll be wearing while reading my poem in Dáil Eireann.
Sean O'Fearghail
To mark the occasion Ceann Comhairle Sean O'Fearghail has arranged to have an A1 copy of my poem printed and bound in the skin of Ian O'Doherty of The Irish Independent. 
'journalist' Ian O'Doherty before they took his skin

Friday, 1 April 2016

The Human Cost of Diarmaid Ferritter's mention of me in Saturday's Irish TImes



The Health Services Executive has confirmed that all those who had strokes and heart attacks on Saturday, after reading the mention of yours truly in Diarmaid Ferritter's review in that day's Irish Times WILL receive free medical care for the rest of their lives. A special home for those affected is to be set up in the far south of the country.