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Tuesday, 21 March 2017

Councillor Keen Peter & Rahoonery

This month, to wide acclaim, the Irish government finally granted Travellers the status of an ethnic minority.

Rahoon is an area in Galway City which lent its name to ‘Rahoonery’ - see - following a prolonged anti-Traveller  protest in the area in the late 1960s.

Cllr Peter Keane is a member of Galway City Council. Last week Cllr Keen's minions put a newsletter through every door in the area which appeared to some residents to be an effort to stir up a bit of latter day Rahoonery. Cllr. Keane turning up in this way is a little surprising as he represents the neighbouring ward and actually lives on Taylor’s Hill, traditionally the most exclusive street in Galway City.  

As Cllr Keen is clearly in need of a creative writing class, I have gone to the trouble of rewriting the relevant part of his newsletter in order to make the meaning clearer for the common or garden gobshite. The Cookie Monster pyjamas referred to belong to me, Kevin Higgins.

Cllr Keen’s original is below my rewrite. 
 Keen Peter's lesser-pinstriped original

Thursday, 19 January 2017

Lock up your mothers (& your grandmothers)

I will be reading some poems at Stanzas in Limerick this Friday evening. For full details see here.

I have my passport to hand, have washed my thong and am all ready to go. 

People living in the general Limerick area are advised to lock up their mothers, their grandmothers, and - better to be safe than sorry - their great-grandmothers until myself and Mr Lordan have been safely escorted back to the border. 

All welcome.

Tuesday, 3 January 2017

New poem inspired by comments Vincent Woods made on the death of Anthony Cronin

A new poem ‘One Has To Admire His Ability As A Poet’, inspired by these comments Vincent Woods made on the death of Anthony Cronin, is just published on the excellent Poethead website. Before you read the poem, to get you in the mood, you should first put your underpants on your head and play the Youtube video below.

UPDATE 5/1/2017 the poem has been republished on 

Friday, 30 December 2016

2016 - the year of me being quoted in UK newspapers

One of the strange things that happened during the peculiar year that was 2016 was that poems of mine were quoted in The Daily Telegraph (pictured above), The Daily Mirror, and most recently The Times (London), in which former David Cameron adviser Lord Finkelstein took time out to take issue with one of them.
I look forward to 2017 when I expect to be quoted regularly in both Pravda and The Wall Street Journal.

Sunday, 25 December 2016

My new St. Stephen's Day Tradition

Tomorrow is St. Stephen's Day. St. Stephen is pictured below on one of his more challenging days.
In these parts it is traditional that young people spend some of St. Stephen's Day going door to door performing songs and doing traditional dances.  Despite being no longer in the slightest bit young, I plan to join in this tradition as of tomorrow. I will be going door to door around the West of Ireland, ringing door bells and reciting my new poem 'Of Course They Know It's Christmas' (after Bob Geldof and Midge Ure) over a small megaphone to anyone who answers. I will be dressed in traditional costume. See below.
Please give generously. I haven't yet decided what traditional dance I'll be doing and am, as ever, open to suggestions.

Saturday, 24 December 2016

Of Course They Know It's Christmas

To mark the season I have re-written the original lyrics for Do They Know It's Christmas?

I've taken the liberty of retitling it Of Course They Know It's Christmas and it's published on Culture Matters, Socialist Unity, & We Know What's Up.

I wish you all an ecstatic Christmas. Personally I am mostly looking forward to December 30th when I will be celebrating the one hundred anniversary of the timely death of Grigori Rasputin.

Mr Rasputin's lawyers have asked me to make clear  
that he had no involvement in either Band Aid or Live Aid.