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Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Independence for South County Dublin

I don't have a vote in the Scottish independence referendum on Thursday. I have only ever been to Scotland once, in March 1989, when I attended the anti-Poll Tax demonstration that took place in Glasgow just before the tax was introduced in Scotland, a year before we got it in England and Wales; I was living in London at the time.

In a sense, the Scottish referendum is not my business. If it was, I would have been leaning towards a no. But then the campaign. Oh my. Too much terrible to go into here. But, to zoom in for a moment, George Galloway and Henry Kissinger both coming out for a No. To prove their commitment to the union George and Henry should make love (to each other) in the middle of Sauchiehall Street, with Henry, naturally, taking the active role. Afterwards Garry Glitter and Cilla Black would make one final, impassioned appeal for a No vote... Only in the event of such nightmares coming true, could the No campaign actually get worse. If I was a No voter now, the No campaign would make me want to kill myself before polling day.

And now Bob Geldof has weighed in. To speak his own language, what an orsehole.

It's set me thinking. Perhaps the Republic of Ireland should give enforced independence to South County Dublin. Think of it, no more orseholes talking in thot occent. No more Bono, or Sir Bob, or all the other Ross O'Carroll types. They could live in their own little country of South County Dublin, with a permanent Fine Gael majority government, fly the Union Jack all they want and go for endless walks on the sea front at Kingstown. 

Apologies to the people of Scotland for Bob Geldof's jaded ramblings. He represents no one in Ireland. When you vote on Thursday, as my mother used to say, don't mind that fella.