Eoghan Harris erection shows no sign of subsiding

750 (approximately) civilians were killed in the 25 years of the Northern Irish troubles; that's excluding members of the British Army, RUC, Republican, and Loyalist paramilitaries. 500 people have committed suicide in the 7 years since 2008 because of issues linked to economic crash. 500. For details see here.

There'll be no screaming headline from next week's Sunday Indo about that statistic, no shrill whine on the inside pages from Irish O'Hanlawn. Of that we can rest assured.

These 500 suicides were brought to you by sensible policies for a better Ireland. Policies which have been road tested and fully approved by Stephen Collins of the Irish Times.

Sensible Stephen

But in more positive news: the tiny erection which Eoghan Harris has been experiencing since he heard about Lucy Kryton setting up her new party shows no signs of subsiding. 

You are my people (well some of you) and I will be your President

@culturalfatwa Kevin Higgins for President! Put a real poet in the Park!
— Partisan Panda (@rmltpie) March 14, 2015

I came home after MCing our March Over The Edge Writers' Gathering last night to find the above Tweet on that endlessly trickling torrent of wisdom that is Twitter. 

It would appear that someone thinks I should be the next President of Ireland. They might be joking. But I think this is a great idea, and so propose to take it at face value.

At any poetry readings I do between now and the next Irish Presidential Election in November 2018, I will insist on being introduced as "Kevin Higgins, next President of Ireland". 

My presidency would be a presidency of reform and renewal; mostly for me, I badly need it. 

I have already decided on one change to existing Presidential protocol. As of my inaugaration on that historic day in November 2018, the country will have a new Presidential Anthem, which will be the words of my poem 'Autobiography' set to music by Chris DeBurgh and sung (at rugby matches, camogie finals and the like) by that rising Irish radio star, Terence Flanagan TD.   

I've looked into the rules, in terms of how one gets to be President, and, according to Wikipedia, they are as follows:

"To qualify, candidates must be a citizen of Ireland, be at least 35 years of age, and be nominated by: at least twenty of the 226 serving members of the Houses of the Oireachtas [TDs or Shenators], or at least 4 of the 34 county or city councils or him- or herself, in the case of an incumbent or former president who has served one term."

I know this will come as a surprise to many of you, but I  can confirm that, despite my youthful looks, I am indeed at least 35 years of age. And I am certainly a citizen of Ireland.
 
I am, though, despite rumours to the contrary, not Michael D. Higgins, so I cannot  nominate myself.

So I need either twenty TDs or Shenators, or 4 county or city councils, to nominate me to be the next President of Ireland.

The campaign Facebook page is already set up. You can like it here. Please do share it around the place.  

UPDATE: This campaign is growing legs. See article on Politics.ie. 

Lucinda Creighton's Cheap Publicity Stunt

My poem, 'The Ballad of Lucy Kryton', which I penned in December, was published on Monday on The Bogman's Cannon and then re-published on Wednesday on Rabble.ie.

I am currently in negotiations with Marianne Faithfull about the possibility that she might sing the poem and release it as a single on iTunes.

This evening I learned that, in a tawdry publicity stunt designed only to give further publicity to my poem, Lucinda Creighton is planning to launch a new very right of centre political party tomorrow. 

I am outraged, and now plan to write a series of confusing letters to The Irish Examiner about the issue. 

What Michael D said at Aosdána

“funding for the arts is as important to our infrastructure as roads, hospitals and schools”, he [President Higgins] argued.

Imagine how much more seriously the average person would take President Higgins’s speech to yesterday’s meeting of Aosdána - and he's absolutely right in whan he said - if he had referred the Irish Water Bill to the Supreme Court, like Cearbhall Ó Dálaigh did the Emergency Powers Bill in 1976.

Also quoted in this Irish Times article about Aosdána's meeting yesterday is Mannix Flynn​ who, at Dublin City Council's meeting on Monday, voted against the motion calling for the release of the 5 jailed anti-water charges protesters (which was passed in any case). Mr Flynn has yet to publicly explain why he voted in this way.

There’s a potentially quite dangerous disconnect between some in the Arts in Ireland and reality right now. There are those who are all for people standing up, as long as no one actually does, or if it's limited to the crank level of the usual few histrionics. Go about the place pretending to be Maude Gonne, or don a Sean O’Casey style cap and stand outside Leinster House shouting to no one about imperialism, and you’ll be called courageous. But a real movement of the great unrinsed, now we couldn't be having that, could we; it might disturb one's Haiku which makes mention of Lenin in the last line.

The prophets are indeed weeping, and gnashing their teeth just a little bit as well.

And this woman is still in jail. 

I will be reading a poem at opening of Labour Party Conference in Killarney this evening

I have been invited to read a poem at the opening of the Labour Party Conference this evening at the INEC in Killarney.

I will be reading my recent poem 'Socially Acceptable Vegetables', which is a re-interpretation of President Higgins's recent poem 'The Prophets Are Weeping'.   

Kevin, the People's Poet, vote for me and I'll set you free

Rick, the People's Poet

I have been nominated by Clare Daly TD for Irish People's Poet 2015. In her nominating statement, Clare highlighted my satirical poem The Little Elections. I am one of twelve poets nominated. I am both the oldest poet nominated and the only one not to submit a video. I've always been a low tech traditionalist, me, unlike Rick, the People's Poet (pictured above). 

You can read all about the competition here. This could be my Susan Boyle moment, it really could; I've always dreamed of doing a duet with Elaine Paige. 

Happy Birthday, Mr President

Marilyn Monroe wished President John F. Kennedy Happy Birthday in the most memorable fashion at a Democratic Party fundraiser in Madison Square Gardens in 1962.

Our President, Michael D. Higgins, has recently been subjected to abuse from gurrier protesters. 

My 'Early Birthday Poem For President Higgins After The Abuse Hurled At Him By Gurriers' is a small attempt to undo the great injustice done to our President that dark and terrible day.