According to Rabble.ie I am "the sinister fringe's bard in residence"

Up The Rebels! poem in which I suggest a possible innovative use for toothpicks

Are you a literary networker with no discernible principles, or ideas of your own? I have a poem in this (below) in which I suggest a possible innovative use for toothpicks. 

 

Therapy Group For People Traumatised By My Poems

Tao Lin

My latest poem 'Note to self re: Evils of Hipster Careerism in The Literary Arts' - after Mel Brooks - was yesterday published on The Bogman's Cannon.

One young Irish writer has taken exception to this poem, though I think she has rather gotten hold of the wrong end of this particular stick.

I love being reminded by middle-aged 'satirists' that we millennials remain the worst thing about society today.

— Sheila Armstrong (@Sheeeela) April 13, 2016

Either way, I will now be starting a therapy group for people who have been traumatised by my poems. I will be joining myself, as will Spectator columnist Nick Cohen, and the former owners of this web address.

At all group meetings, the wearing of bowler hats will be mandatory.

 

NEW POEM 'Advisory Epistle From Literature Quangocrat'

(Picture taken at meeting of Central Heating Committee of LITERATURE EIRE)

My latest poem 'Advisory Epistle From Literature Quangocrat' is published on The Bogman's Cannon. May the Lord have no mercy at all on my soul, and Satan have his way with me for all eternity.

Irish literary happening of 2015: The Bogman's Cannon

Loathe it, as a few careerist literary nerds here and there certainly do, or love it, as I - and many others - do, there isn't much denying that the advent of the alternative literary site The Bogman's Cannon has been the event of the year in Irish literary circles. 

The Bogman is unusual, not to mention revolutionary, in the way that it combines literarature and political criticism in an always lively manner. Many literary magazines like to claim that they are not afraid to offend the Establishment. Mostly, when such claims are made, it's either a lie, or at best an exaggeration. For your average state funded lit-mag there is always a line one will not be allowed to cross. For example, no state funded Irish literary magazine will ever run an article detailing what an atrocious Minister for The Arts Heather Humphreys has been, though everyone knows it's the truth.

Of course Heather will be gone soon, and there'll be another Minister to lick up to, for those with willing tongues. What separates The Bogman's Cannon from such slurpers is that not only is it prepared to offend establishments of all varieties, it actively sets out to offend those who need offending. It has also been a real stimulus for much needed debate. And it is not at all totalitarian; you don't have to agree with everything that's said in every article, poem, story, or video. 

The aforementioned careerist nerdlets hate The Bogman, and their hatred is similar to that felt by the Blairites in the British Labour Party for Jeremy Corbyn and his supporters. They expected to easily inherit the Earth, but it's not turned out as straightforwardly as they imagined; history and politics appear to taking one of those violent turns. Like 1848, 1871, 1917, 1936, or 1968. And all such inheritances are open to challenge. Irish poetry now certainly has a left wing, and it of course has a right wing, though as in the British Labour Party, that right wing pretends to be something other than what it actually is. Such 'moderation' has always been with us. Though, thanks in part to the stimulus provided by The Bogman's Cannon, the 'moderate' critics of too much political poetry, and too much irreverence, are increasingly not the prevailing trend in Irish poetry.

2015 was a huge year. If someone had told me last January 1st that I would again be a member of the British Labour Party, and a supporter of the leader, I would have suggested that they see a psychiatrist urgently. Indeed, I would probably have phoned the psychiatrist of their behalf. Yet on Saturday, September 12th Jeremy Corbyn was elected Leader of the British Labour Party by an overwhelming majority, and I voted from him, having re-joined the party as an overseas member. Twenty four years previously, to the day, on September 12th 1991, I was expelled from the British Labour Party because of my (then) membership of Militant and involvement in the anti-poll tax campaign. As part of the campaign to support to Jeremy Corbyn's leadership bid I put together, with the support of Portsmouth Labour Party member Darrell Kavanagh,  21 Poems: 21 Reasons For Choosing Jeremy Corbyn, an initiative The Bogman enthusiastically backed.

The revolution may not exactly be at hand, but things are not as they have been for the past quarter of a century or more. The 'moderates', or to call them by their proper name, the Right are now on the defensive both politically and culturally.

My main contribution to the cultural aspect of this revolt has been as The Bogman's Cannon's Satirist-in-Residence. I published about twenty poems on the site during 2015.

I am really looking forward to 2016 during which, as well as continuing to satirise those that need it for The Bogman, I will also be going to Dublin to do some canvassing for my friend Clare Daly in the Dublin Fingal constituency, as well as doing my bit to block Irish Water contractors entering the Corrib Park estate, one of the largest in Galway City, the only entrance to which is, as luck would have it, right outside our front door. Last August, along with four local women, I stood on the road in front of one of their vans at seven o'clock in the morning and, together, we held the line until more residents joined us and the contractors gave up. 2016 will no doubt see more such excitement. 

I already have a few new poems ready to go for The Bogman's Cannon, with which I am proud to be associated. Dave Lordan, the main driving force behind the site, deserves huge credit for what he's brought about. May it continue to inspire us, and to upset those who deserve to be upset.

My latest poem: Premature Elegy for Hilary Benn

My latest poem 'Premature Elegy for Hilary Benn' is just published here and here.

The disgust of Colette Browne

@KevinHIpoet1967 That's actually really offensive - Enda Kenny is not a nazi. Take it down.

— Colette Browne (@colettebrowne) July 13, 2015

The usually liberal, left of centre journalist Colette Browne of The Irish Independent thinks that this poem includes a "disgusting slur" against Enda Kenny, and is spending time on Twitter being outraged about it. 

Funny thing to be outraged about, tonight of all nights. Liberals, sure where would we be without them. Pretty much where we are actually. 

"Never sees an enemy coming
without immediately offering them
another piece of the country,
before they’ve even put
the ultimatum in writing;
when he urged the Greek people
to follow his example, geologists say
on an island off the coast of Brittany
Marshal Petain’s willy twitched
awake in its grave and began whispering
to itself in perfect High German,
that the good old days
are here again."

Hillary Rodham Clinton’s Rhapsody for Self #Hillary2016

My new poem 'Hillary Rodham Clinton Rhapsody for Self' #‎Hillary2016‬ was today published here, here, and here.

Making Love To John Prescott - 'Blair's Advice' - poem written at suggestion of Danny Morrison

A couple of days after the recent U.K. General Election I posted this Tweet.

Tony Blair needs to just go away. I hear he has an article in today's Observer I'd rather make love to John Prescott than read it.

— Kevin Higgins - poet (@KevinHIpoet1967) May 9, 2015

It prompted the following response from Danny Morrison.

@KevinHIpoet1967 Write a poem about that!

— Danny Morrison (@molloy1916) May 9, 2015

A tall order indeed!

The resulting poem 'Blair's Advice' is published on The Bogman's Cannon and on the UK based political blog Socialist Unity, which is edited by Andy Newman who was the Labour candidate for the Chippenham constituency on May 7th. 

Cliff Cocker, the Arts Editor of The Morning Star newspaper, emailed me yesterday to say he'd read the poem on Socialist Unity and would like to re-publish it in The Morning Star. It is republished in today's issue of the paper. 

UPDATE 22/5/14 The Irish Times have also republished the poem today on their website.

'Static' by Gráinne McHale

Poem by Gráinne McHale

'Static' 

Backward steps
into a burnt-out womb.

The smell of those trees I knew.
There, looking at me,
across from a house
I lived in years ago.
I live near it again now,
beside the landlady’s son[i]
but he doesn’t know me.
I think.

People go by too fast for me to know.
People I used to know in each place.
All gone,
always going.
I know no one now,
no one knows me.
No one would know if I was not here.

If I died that would be some comfort
if there was someone who missed me
I could wait around for a bit
to help them get over it.
My Mum n’ Dad would be sad,
my brother
but the people I loved
without permission -
The Boys -
like they were my own soul
No
like they were God’s soul.

A Holy Trinity -
Jodie, Johnny, Roddy.
The last two were mirror similar:
ginger, freckled, ivory, svelte.
A beautiful, self-perpetuating
biological pattern,
like cancer.

Being so displeasing to one
might have been alright.
But three?
No, I suppose it would’ve been
like drinking and limits.
Two’s my limit,
way over with the third.

The third being Roddy,
with the rose petal, crème egg kisses,
belonging to some new girlfriend
or other every time I saw him.
Then – every time - he stole a kiss
goodbye from my lips
and I’d never see it coming.
To go home and put my hand in the fire.

So,
I left his city
and came back to my town.
Out of fright,
out of exhaustion.

To live again near the trees
that knew me to see
back then before I left
for the big city.
I didn’t know them then
but remember them now
to smell.

---

[i] The landlady’s son referred to is me. Mom died on May 31st 2011.

Gráinne McHale is from County Galway. She graduated in 2010 with a BA Fine Art in GMIT Galway and is currently studying for a MA Writing at NUIG. She writes poetry and fiction; has made a number of short films and her artwork has been exhibited both internationally and at home. Her website is https://grainnemchale.wordpress.com/ and her work also features on The Bogman’s Cannon. Gráinne was a Featured Reader at the March Over The Edge: Open Reading in Galway City Library. 

My re-write of the 1916 Proclamation

My re-write of the 1916 Proclamation is published here and here. 

In memoriam Tin Man Ó’Tuathail esteemed literary critic & political commentator

My newest poem 'Tin Man Lament'  In memoriam Tin Man Ó’Tuathail esteemed literary critic & political commentator is published here.

Lucinda Creighton's Cheap Publicity Stunt

My poem, 'The Ballad of Lucy Kryton', which I penned in December, was published on Monday on The Bogman's Cannon and then re-published on Wednesday on Rabble.ie.

I am currently in negotiations with Marianne Faithfull about the possibility that she might sing the poem and release it as a single on iTunes.

This evening I learned that, in a tawdry publicity stunt designed only to give further publicity to my poem, Lucinda Creighton is planning to launch a new very right of centre political party tomorrow. 

I am outraged, and now plan to write a series of confusing letters to The Irish Examiner about the issue.